Children aren’t equipped to regulate their emotions and feelings, which can arise as “undesired behaviors.” Unfortunately, we live in a society that suppresses emotions and prioritizes behaviors over emotions believing that behavior modification in children is far more critical than understanding the root of these behaviors.
Why is teaching kids about feelings so important?
- It emphasizes self-worth:
Denying children the chance to express themselves sends them a loud message that their feelings are unworthy. Children themselves will translate this message as “I AM UNWORTHY,” which will result in a new set of problems.
- It promotes emotional intelligence:
Dealing with our emotions isn’t an innate behavior. As we grow up, we learn through coping mechanisms and strategies to manage our feelings. Many parents believe and expect their children to discuss and release their feelings healthily and naturally. However, this is uncommon, and children cannot understand the complexities of their emotions nor slow down to process their feelings and thoughts. It’s us, adults, who need to teach them this skill. When we teach our children a vast vocabulary of emotional language, they will be better equipped to identify & pinpoint what it is they are feeling and strengthen their emotional intelligence.
- It reduces anxiety:
Big & strong feelings can scare and overwhelm young children, but by accepting & validating them, we allow children to develop healthy acceptance towards their feelings. When children accept their emotions, they are less likely to develop stress and anxiety. Children exhibit frustration when they can’t adequately express their feelings, leading to a failure in communication between parents and children. Helping children identify their emotions and why they are feeling this way are essential steps for better communication.
- It decreases undesired behaviors:
Once children develop the skills to identify their emotions, they can develop self-awareness that calms them. Children have a hard time determining how they feel and how to express these feelings. Therefore, they end up portraying these feelings through unwanted and undesired behaviors. An example of undesired behaviors could be a young child biting or hitting due to frustration or difficulty calming down because of excitement. It can be very frustrating for parents, but these situations are all a learning opportunity for children to identify and express their emotions and improve their emotional development.
- Working through powerful emotions allows children to be their best self:
Children who fall into the pattern of suppressing feelings will hinder their developmental capacity. Unresolved feelings linger in the subconscious, where they will compromise the internal resources and mental energy children need to function in their day-to-day environment.
- It leads to positive mental health:
Over the past decades, a series of studies have shown that suppressing emotions can and affect the body and mind and might even increase the chances of premature death. Children who nurture the habit of self-expression will less likely engage in negative coping patterns, leading to anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.
- It enhances both emotional health & physical health:
Like adults, children’s unresolved and repressed feelings can manifest physically through bodily symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, ulcers, or high blood pressure. Under stress, the sympathetic nervous system triggers the fight, flight, or freeze response, which results in physiological changes like dizziness, increased heart rate, shortness of breath, and stomachaches.
- Encouraging good emotional health paves a path for long-term health and well-being:
Many parents suffer from weak emotional wellbeing themselves due to their negative emotional childhood experiences. Some are still trying to figure out how to prioritize and take care of their physical and psychological well-being. Starting at an early age with your children gives them a leg up on long-term emotional well-being.
Although we certainly hope that our children will always experience positive emotions, it’s essential to understand that emotions like sadness and even anger are natural and common emotions that children may experience and are equal in importance to positive feelings. Helping children express feelings is not just a matter of making sure they can label their emotions, help them feel better, nor make sure they’re always happy. It’s about assisting them to cope with these feelings. Because how your children deal with their emotions will affect various areas of their lives, which includes their relationships with peers and with you. It will help make communication with your little ones more effective and successful!
