Listening is a learned skill that is essential to learning. Children’s ability to listen significantly impacts their language abilities; they find gaining knowledge in any subject easier, less stressful, and more successful. Listening is an important “soft skill”, like problem-solving, leadership, and teamwork. Like any other skill, listening should be acquired and developed; we are not born with it. It takes time and patience to master. Listening is a growing problem for young children to the extent that preschools find it necessary to “teach” listening in some Pre-K programs.

Many parents and caregivers complain about our kids’ inability to listen appropriately and respectfully to us. But first, let’s ask ourselves how do we practice and model respectful listening to our kids?

Here are ways you can help your children become better listeners:

1- Be a good listener yourself:

Don’t interrupt your children when they’re telling you a story. Give them your undivided attention when they are talking. Don’t read the paper or carry on a conversation with someone else at the same time. Turn your attention to them when they want to tell or show you something; turn off the radio in the car and hear what your children want to tell you about their day.

If you want them to listen to you, they need to see that you are willing to listen to them too. Children return the respect they receive, and children who are heard often become good listeners themselves.

Also, listen to the way you speak. You may not be aware of it, but your communication style may sound a lot like the one your parents used. Pay attention to what you say – and how you say it – to see if there are some habits you'd like to change.

2- Look them in the eye:

Looking them in the eye when they’re talking will make them know that you are present and paying attention. Maintaining eye contact will help a child learn that we should keep eye contact with them to concentrate and understand what is being said when someone is talking. 

3- Talk to them from a short distance:

Calling children from one room to another and expecting them to answer is a high expectation. What happens when you model such behavior? They will not respond, and then you will get angry at them for not being respectful. 

4- Avoid Interruption:

Allow a child to form and complete a thought when talking. Avoid guesses or assumptions when a child is speaking because this can hinder communication and lead a child to think their ideas and opinions are unimportant. 

5- Repeat What you Have Heard:

Repeat what a child says in your own words, which shows that you were attentive when they were talking and what they say matters. It also indicates that you have understood what the child has said. It also gives the child an opportunity to correct you if there is a misunderstanding.

6- Ask Questions:

Asking a child questions ensures listening. Ask specific questions related to what is said. In turn, this will provide understanding and clarification. There are four types of questions you can ask: open-ended, close-ended, leading, and reflective. 

7- Practice Reading Comprehension:

Whether bedtime stories or afternoon tales, practicing reading comprehension is an effective way to enhance listening, read a story to your child, or tell it verbally. After you have completed the story/tale, ask questions about it. 

8- Break Down Instruction:

We tend to forget that sometimes providing a set of instructions to a child may be overwhelming. Children sometimes need to receive one instruction at a time rather than many. By breaking down the instruction, a child can focus on one task and remember what to do without feeling overwhelmed. 

Eventually, raising a well-rounded listener requires applying several of these tips and constantly applying them to see results. Routine is key to achieving almost anything with your child.