Bullying has never been a lighthearted topic. Since long ago, children (and adults) have dealt with this fundamental abusive imbalance of power. Many have made it through and are stronger; however, some didn’t. For some, this means constant bullying, and for parents, it means a greater commitment to helping their children cope with the issue before it spirals out of control.

What Can Children Do:

Bullying may seem complicated to deal with, but as hard as it looks, simple it really is. It's all about mind control, manners, and walking away as if you didn’t care even if you do; the angrier you get, the more fun they'll have. Children must be taught that bullying is actually a game about winning or losing regardless of their level of self-confidence or self-esteem. Yes, you can overcome a bully even if you are at the first step to building self-confidence. The simple secret key is: Don't be upset. This is the winning card every victim of bullying should play to win, and once the bully loses, eventually, they'll leave you alone. Just because the bully showed you their weapons doesn't mean you have to be ready for the war. Defuse the bully with your peace. 

Bullies are only interested in getting a negative reaction, whether it is responding negatively or walking away; it’s from there that they get a sense of power. If bullies receive a positive response, they will eventually give up.

What Can Children Do?

• During bullying, be kind and respond positively
  • “I love how smart and outgoing you are.”
  • “You are awesome; I wish I were like you.”
• Show confidence and state that the bullying will not affect you.
  • “My happiness will not be defined by you or your approval of you so that you can make fun of me, but I will not make fun of you.”
  • “Oh, okay… but that will not affect how I feel about myself.”
  • “Thank you for your opinion, but I really like my shirt.”
• Be smart.
  • “Oh, you do not like my hair? But you are just like my hair, not everyone likes you, but it doesn’t mean you are not awesome.”
• Show empathy.
  • “It seems you are not feeling well. Do you need any help?”
  • “I am sorry you are having a bad day; I hope it gets better tomorrow.”
• Speak up. Let the teacher or school counselor know what's going on if the bully continues and doesn’t seem to give up.
• The child should know that bullying is limited to hurting someone's feelings. Thus if any kind of physical violence occurs, as minor as it seems, it must NOT be ignored; the child must stand for themself and seek help from someone else, and know that this needs punishment.
• In general, look for friendly children with whom to form friendships.

What Parents Can Do:

• Chat along with your children about how their peers treat them because some children might be embarrassed to bring up the topic.
• Don't expect children to figure things out on their own. Teach your children how to handle bullies and spend time building their self-confidence.
• Telling or teaching a child to fight back isn't a helpful idea. The worst defense against bullying is to fight. Victimized children are usually weaker and smaller than the bully, so their chances of losing their fights are pretty high, which will have psychological effects on the child.
• Guide your child in developing a vocabulary of smart verbal responses to use if verbally abusive peers target them.
• Let children know that you support them and have their back. 
• At home, provide a positive example for your children to handle conflicts between siblings and friends.
• Be a social engineer and invite other kids over to your house, which will teach children many social skills and help them make friends.
• Enroll your child in programs or groups that help them build skills like karate, taekwondo… These activities help your child strengthen and build self-confidence, not a weapon to be used to fight back.  
• Beware of what your child watches on television, as many programs encourage violence as a way to resolve disagreements.
• Consult with other parents; when one child has been victimized, there are likely other children in the same situation. 
• Involve the school administration. At the absolute least, request that the school prohibits bullying; it is their duty. 
• If everything else fails and your child is still suffering from bullies, arrange for your child's transfer to a different school. A child may thrive at a different school with a diverse group of children who share different ideas. But most importantly, let your child be aware that s/he might encounter other bullies through every stage of their life. Hence, the best thing to do is help them see their self-worth clearly, build their self-confidence, and acquire social skills to handle any bully that they might encounter.

As a parent, empowering your children to attain these social skills is crucial for their well-being. And when this happens, they will grow with self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence. Reaching out, being present, and teaching your child these skills is your responsibility.